Archive for the ‘Dating Advice’ Category

Free Dating Sites = Weirdos and Undesirables

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010
Internet dating is Scary? It could be if you are frequenting free dating sites. Horror stories abound of people who have gone online to find dates only to later be robbed at gunpoint, had sedatives slipped into their drinks, or even disappeared altogether. To those people, the saying “you thought it could never happen to you” certainly applies all too clearly. Craigslist and other free dating sites quickly come to mind as they are frequently caught up in the news. So how do you avoid making contact with weirdos and undesirables if you still want to date?
Long story cut short is to avoid free dating sites. If nothing more, the credit card you use identifies you as a real, traceable person. Free dating sites are plagued with fake dating profiles, for example, because there is no disincentive to creating multiple free dating site profiles. And if your potential mate can’t afford the $10 to $30 monthly fee, your probably better off subscribing to a well known internet dating site. Here are a few tips on how to keep your internet dating experience safe.
  1. Keep your home address, work address, and other personal information confidential until after your first date and beyond if necessary.
  2. Choose a safe place to have your first date. This means not going into any dark alleys to visit nightclubs that your date is “just dying” to show to you. Sure, there are some popular hang-outs that can be found at such places, but those are not the appropriate places to have a date with a stranger. Pick places like hotel bars, or hotel restaurants, or even eating places in malls where there are sure to be a lot of people around to witness your meeting.
  3. Date rapes have become alarmingly common and the victims all point to one incident during the date: they left their drink unattended so that their date had the opportunity to slip in a sedative into their drink. Date rape drugs have become surprisingly easy to come by on the black market, and are available at the right price to eager buyers. So never leave your drink unattended – and this goes not just for first dates, but for successive dates as well.
  4. Some safe dates you can have may involve activities that don’t involve eating or drinking at all. For instance, if you and your date like roller-blading, why not have your date in a park where lots of other people could be taking part in the same sport? Or you could go surfing at a popular beach. Indoor rock-climbing places have been set up in many cities so that’s one activity that could be relatively safe for you. My favorite is a short 1 hour coffee, but not everyone wants a short date.
  5. If you absolutely must have alcohol during your date, stay sober. Try ordering just one drink and nursing that one throughout the evening. Many alcoholic beverages in bars and nightclubs are made to be quite potent so taking two orders in one night may bowl over even the hardiest person. You won’t look ridiculous if you don’t finish your drink, so if you do wind up ordering more than one, you can simply say “I’ve had enough for one night” and pay the bill.
Remember that free is free. So avoid the free dating sites if you want to steer clear of Weirdos and Undesirables.
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No Date? Find A Date Online Tonight

Monday, April 5th, 2010

Where can I find a date? If you are single, you probably ask yourself this question at least every weekend.  The answer to the where can I find a date question is not actually that complicated. But it does seem to baffle many over stressed singles out there. Find a date online tonight using your favorite internet dating site.

In the past the only way to score a date was by hanging out at bars and other places where singles flock on a Friday or Saturday night. Getting a phone number before the night was over was the general goal. Singles who have gone this route know, this is a taxing way to find companionship. Often if feels like work, not fun. You dress up to  look your best, come up with an engaging opening line, keep the conversation going, all the while nursing your drink. Many singles leave, well, still single and less hopeful with each passing weekend.

Thankfully it doesn’t have to be that way. The development of the Internet and related technologies (webcam, chat, high speed internet) has allowed for the rise of internet dating services.  Some internet dating sites take a scientific approach at matching up their members using the information supplied by these members in  their profiles. Internet dating site members can contact their matches and send messages to other members who have attracted their interest.

Internet dating sites are good for singles, whether you are looking for a casual date or looking for true love. But if you are really embarrassed to try internet dating, you can always play it safe and ask your trusted friend to set you up on a blind date. Yeah right. Don’t be embarrassed, there is no reason to be. The only thing you need to do to find a date online tonight is to choose a dating site free trial, then just do it.

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Dating A Single Parent

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

Dating a single parent can be a complicated situation, so know what you are getting yourself into before you proceed. It is not just yourself and your single parent date that you have to consider in this potential relationship, but you have to also consider what the kids may be feeling too. While you may be able to avoid deep thoughts during the first few dates with a single parent, if you get serious about the relationship and you want to be a part of the family, you must realize that it is a different lifestyle choice versus being single and out there on your own.

Many single men and women love kids and can enjoy dating a single parent. Acting the part of the future step parent may not be easy for some. If you really want to have a successful relationship with a single parent and their kids, you have to take certain steps to help things progress as smoothly as can be expected (kids are no doubt unpredictable at times).

First of all, you should try not to get involved in the lives of the single parent’s children unless you and your date are ready to go steady and you both have long-term relationship goals in mind. This does not mean that you are avoiding the kids at first. Instead it is more like you are respecting the kids’ feelings. Kids might be confused with the fact that their biological parents are not together anymore, and they might find it hard to deal with new lovers in their parents’ lives.

Just as much as you need to respect your partner’s children, you also need to show some respect to your partner’s ex, the other parent of the kids. Do not go about as if this other parent does not exist in the kids’ lives. Whatever happened between your partner and their ex is between them. You do not need to criticize the ex, especially not in front of the children. Yes even if the ex is a jerk and everyone knows it, you still need to show some respect.

As another form of respect towards your future stepchildren, you should make it a point not to sleep over the single parent’s house, and neither should you encourage your date to stay the night in your house.  It’s best to do sleepovers when the two of you are officially engaged and wedding plans are already abroad.

So you like your single parent date, and suddenly you feel uncomfortable  because you are feeling left out. That is a normal feeling when dating a single parent.  Just be honest and talk about it to your date privately, but never in front of the kids. If your single parent date loves you and if he/she wants your relationship to work, then he/she will give some consideration towards your feelings as well.

Lastly, always be kind to your future stepchildren. Make it a point to consider their needs and feelings, and always understand that having you around may be confusing for them. Do not force yourself upon them, but help them learn to accept you as a part of their lives.

Single parents often find internet dating very helpful. Online dating services can be use to screen potential dates, to avoid those who are not ready for dating a single parent. Give internet dating a free try today.

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False Internet Dating Beliefs

Monday, March 22nd, 2010

Mention the words Internet Dating to some singles and they may try to laugh it off, dismiss it entirely as a bad thing. There are beliefs that many singles hold dear to themselves, which govern the way they perceive internet dating and look for a new relationship. Unfortunately, some of these beliefs are false and may actually prevent singles from finding happiness, rather than promote their search for true love online or otherwise.

Here are just some of what we call false internet dating beliefs:

  • There are no more good singles out there for me. Many singles seem to think that all the good and eligible singles are taken, and all those left are just the dregs of the dating world. That is a preposterous conclusion to come to, because there are certainly many great singles out there if you know where to look. The search for true love, or even for a great date, is more than just a game of numbers. If you want to find a great partner, whether for now or for life, you have to stop sitting around and look around. Most of all, find out where you should be looking. Internet dating surely can help here.
  • Decent places to find decent dates are becoming rare. This is a favorite excuse among singles who are too lazy to go on their own search for potential dating partners and who would rather wait for them to fall on their lap. Again, to snag a good dating partner takes a little effort to accomplish. It is certainly not impossible to meet new people and find a dating prospect among them. If you want to take the traditional route, just hang out at places where other singles meet, like bars, the gym, book stores, coffee shops or the mall. And of course, check out the internet dating scene and join a dating site or two.
  • Actively looking for dates makes me look desperate. This is a lie.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with actively looking for dates, online or offline, and neither would it make you look desperate. When you are dating or looking for dates, you have to have a goal in mind, whether it is to have as many short term relationships as you can get or to get married and start a family. Know your goal and pursue that goal same as you would for work.   The best things in life come to those who wait, that may be true, but you have to get off your rear and start doing your own part too.
  • The people I meet are not hot, smart, interesting or good enough for me. Nobody is perfect. When we meet new dating prospects, we have to keep an open mind and be realistic about our expectations. Rather than tick off your prospective date’s characteristics from a checklist that is most likely to be filled by unrealistic traits that you desire most in your potential partner, take the time to get to know your date and then decide if you can accept him/her for what he/she is. It is perfectly alright to have an ideal partner, as long as that ideal does not blind you to the Prince/Princess Charming standing right in front of you.

Don’t fall into the “If it’s meant to happen it will” trap. Internet dating is the way to go and for a limited time only you can get free trials to the best dating sites like Yahoo Personals, Match.com, Chemistry, JDate, Date.com and more. Now get out there and reach for your goal.

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First Date Ideas, Places To Go

Friday, March 12th, 2010

You met this nice man or woman on an internet dating site, now you need some first date ideas, places to go. Venue is everything if you want a successful first date. If you want to have an awesome first date that will surely lead to a second date and more, set your first date in a venue that is right for the two of you.

When picking a place to go for your first date, choose a place where prices are affordable. This is quite reasonable if you are paying so that your wallet will not hurt so much in case the date turns sour. This is also considerate if the two of you are going to split the bill at the end of the date. A warning though, while the place should have prices that are good for the wallet, do be too cheap, or your date would think you are a cheapskate.

Another thing you should consider while selecting a place to go for your first date is a place that is easy to locate. A nice, secluded spot is a great place to go if the two of you are going steady, but a first date should be a place that is easy to find so that  frustration is avoided. Lack of accessibility to a first date place can stress people out, and you don’t want to spend time with a stressed out date.

Your first date should be at a place where the two of you can talk. Going to the movies is okay, but you will not be able to talk there. If you plan on going to a movie, meet early to talk over snacks or a drink. Going to a noisy bar or club can be annoying because you will shout at each other to talk. If you want to get to know your first date more, the best way to get it done is to have a decent conversation, and the best place to get it done is at a place where the two of you can talk comfortably.

Leave out places where there is a dress code for your first date. It would be nice to have a date where you would be required to dress up and look really nice, but for a first date, that would only put your date into a state of discomfort. It is not easy to find things to talk about on a first date, and to add fidgeting over clothes or feeling not dressed up enough will make things simply awful.

Lastly, always ask him/her for ideas on where to go. The idea for your first date should be a place where the two of you will both have fun and enjoy each other’s company. Enjoying each other’s company, after all, is what counts for a successful first date.

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Safe Internet Dating Sites

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

Internet dating sites have made the world virtually a smaller place. It is now possible for people from opposite sides of the world to talk and interact with each other online and in real time. And because it is possible for a single person in the USA to literally meet millions of people through various communication technologies based on the internet, it is no wonder that internet dating sites and matchmaking services have sprung up like mushrooms trying to capitalize on the idea that anyone can find his or her soulmate, wherever he or she may be.

Internet dating is no longer the fad that it used to be. There are many cases of people meeting and falling in love through the internet, not just through internet dating sites but also through other means that provide social interaction among people through the Internet, such as social networks and forums. There are also a number of cases where these two people actually end up together not just virtually but also in real life. This is the wave that internet dating sites ride upon.

But how do you know that an internet dating site is safe, the real deal, and not just some fly-by-night site that promises true love only to disappear the next day? How do you know that you can trust the internet dating sites that you are subscribing to, that the information you submit is safe, and that you yourself will be safe from meeting unsavory people?

There are five ways to determine whether an internet dating site is indeed a safe place to find dates. The first of these is to look at the privacy policy of the internet dating site. You will know that the internet dating site truly safeguards your privacy if their privacy policy and terms of service are peppered with clauses about confidentiality. This means that they will not sell your email address to other companies, they do not let other people access your personal information, and that they assure you that not even the other members of the site will be able to contact you through email unless you yourself disclose your email address.

Another item you should look for when looking at an internet dating site is their screening procedure; that is, if they have one. A safe internet dating site like True.com demands disclosure of a potential member’s full name and other contact details when signing up so they will be able to verify whether this person is married or has a criminal record. Despite existing technology, internet dating is still risky, but a dating site that actually cares to screen its members is worth the money you will pay them.

When you go to the internet dating site itself, are you pleased with how it looks and its usability? Are the links in order or are they broken? Are there a lot of pop-ups and missing images? A well-tended site generally means good screening and matching services. Beware of the FREE dating site trap. Just because a dating site is free doesn’t mean you should trust the site with your personal information.

Lastly, go ahead and check out the members on the internet dating sites. The best dating sites like Yahoo Personals, Match.com, Chemistry.com, and JDate.com offer their services for a free trial period so you do not have to pay them unless you like the site. Use the free trial special offers to check each website out. If the members look like real people – fat and thin, black and white, tall and short, etc – and they have well-written profiles, it is the real deal. If everyone looks beautiful and possessing weird-sounding profiles, stay away.

Be safe, but do try internet dating and find a date online tonight.

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Have A Great First Date Without Breaking The Bank

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

Most people seem to think that to have a great first date means you have to empty your bank account or max out your credit card just to impress your date and have a great time. A great first date or any date does not have to mean a couple of dozen roses and dinner by candlelight, although that is a very grand and a very romantic gesture.

The idea behind going out on a first date is to spend some time together with someone you like, get to know him or her and have a good time. A great first date does not have to be expensive, it just has to be something the two of you can have fun doing together. Take note that having fun together means both of you like whatever it is that the two of you decided to do on your first date. A first date where only one of you is having the time of his or her life is no good.

Here are some great first date or any date ideas that are certainly inexpensive, but definitely not cheap and yucky.

Date for book lovers:

  • Go to a poetry reading or a book reading by an author you both enjoy.
  • Sip coffee together, either at a coffee shop, your place or at your date’s place and read chapters of the same book to each other.
  • Play a game of which quote came from which book and who wrote it. You can even set it up Jeopardy style.
  • Sit at the beach or in your backyard under the moonlight and recite poems to each other. If you can recite a poem you made up especially for your date, all the better.

Date for movie lovers:

  • Schedule a movie night at your place or your date’s, and then agree on what theme your movie night should be. If the two of you agreed on a horror night, then the movies you ought to watch should be horror and suspense flicks. Or you can agree to watch all the movies that you hated and point out to your date exactly why you hated that movie.
  • There are some places like parks and museums that show good movies to the public for free. You can check out which places in your locale that do just that and make it a point to return the next time they do some showings.

Date for homebodies:

  • A game of Poker or Scrabble. If you want to take it to the next level and do Strip Poker or Strip Scrabble, it is up to you.
  • Spend time in the kitchen cooking each other’s favorite dishes. You can invite friends and family to eat what the two of you have cooked with you.
  • Stargaze.

Date for those who love the outdoors:

  • Go for a walk at the park or the local botanical garden.
  • Go for a swim at the beach or build sandcastles. Make bets on which one of you will make the best sandcastle.
  • Jog or work out together.
  • Pull together a picnic basket and spend time at some secluded or isolated spot.

First dates or any date doesn’t have to be expensive. Great dates can be pulled off without spending too much. And if your first date is based on money, you may set a trend that you can’t afford or top in the future.

Book readings, movies, cooking at home, working out together oh my. It should be obvious that if you don’t match your interests well with your date then these date ideas won’t work for you. Make sure you use any available compatibility matching features the dating sites have to offer. If you need extra help, try a site like Chemistry.com, PerfectMatch.com or Eharmony.com which boast science based matchmaking and compatibility.

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First Date, Who Pays?

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

Who pays on your first date can set the tone for the entire relationship, should the relationship spring up from that first date. Of course, it was not that way before. When our parents were young and dating our mothers could always count on the man to settle the bill for her without being prompted. In the past, such was seen as being a gentleman, an act of chivalry.

Chivalry is not exactly dead in this present time, but women are now more assertive about taking their own fair share and paying bills. Thank women’s liberation and emerging gender sensitivity for that. A man’s sense of chivalry, however, determines whether or not he should pick up the tab on a first date, and this puts us back into our first question of how whoever settles the bill sets the tone of the relationship.

Many relationship experts say that for a guy to be chivalrous on a first date and pick up the tab without asking for his date to give up her share of the bill is a sure sign that he is interested in her. This is especially true if he refuses to accept the lady’s offer to pay for her share, with the excuse that he would like her to treat him the next time they go out. It means he wants to make a good impression on her. If that is not a clear sign of interest on a first date, nothing is.

In this scenario, what a lady should do is to stop insisting on paying for her share, because it might offend the guy she is dating and spoil the mood. A guy who is chivalrous and generous on a first date is a guy who loves taking care of his woman. The time for a woman to assert herself will come soon enough in the relationship.

If the guy does offer to pay the bill but accepts the woman’s offer to either pay for her share or pay for the entire bill herself, it means he is interested and he does not want to offend the lady he is with. It could also mean that he is just being polite and not really that interested, which means that the lady would have to look for other signs of whether the man is into her or not.

On the other hand, if the guy is not even making a move to pull out his wallet, or if he just did and he is asking for the woman to pay for her share, that is a sure warning flag. He is definitely not into her. But if he says that he forgot to bring his wallet, debit card or credit card, the lady could be gracious and pick up the tab. However, if he does this on a second or third date, she is better off moving on without him. A good time to try internet dating for sure.

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Protect Personal Information On Internet Dating Sites

Monday, March 8th, 2010

Always remember to protect the personal information you post on any  internet dating site. It’s important that you go slow, and don’t  disclose things about yourself that you would not disclose to others offline. Common sense right? In many ways internet dating is very helpful. So just be careful out there.

Aside from taking your free dating profile pictures, you don’t have to worry about how you look at the moment. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a bad mood, or just a mean and rotten person, as long as you write a pleasant email or instant message reply. Remember that is also true of  those you will meet on the best dating sites. That very nice single woman or man who you are trying not to lead on, is really into you. Because you do not have the visual cues used in ever day life, it is wise to hold back anything you might regret later on.

So what do you do when someone from a dating site or dating service keeps emailing you asking where do you live, let’s meet today? Don’t be afraid to say “Hey, I don’t want to tell you where I live just yet. We just met online!” If the person doesn’t understand your desire to be safe online, compare their actions to that of someone you would meet offline. Make your decision as to whether or not to continue interacting with the person. Notify customer support of the dating site or dating service if a problem arises.

When you create your free dating profile, it’s important to talk about your interests, your likes, dislikes and some topics of interest. You are in control of your personal image from the beginning. You tell people on the dating sites what you want to know and hold back what you don’t want anyone to know. This is different than being dishonest. Your free dating profile should always be truthful, just don’t put your personal information at risk. If later on you break up (or had a bad first date) with that single woman or man who first replied to your internet dating profile, he or she just might kiss and tell, say something offensive, or become emotional.

Internet dating is one of the highest uses of the internet today. Don’t be afraid, just be safe online the same as you would offline when meeting new people. If you haven’t done so already, sign up for a free trial for Yahoo Personals, Match.com, Chemistry.com, or JDate.com. Have fun!

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First Dating Site Email, Express a Common Interest

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

The best internet dating sites offer a variety of ways to communicate with other singles. Sending a Wink, Instant Message, Video Greeting, or an Email are a few of the ways you can break the ice. For those methods which require writing a message, remember to focus on at least one point of interest in the person’s personal ad profile.

Internet dating works, when you avoid the common mistakes made by most singles eager to jump into the fish pond. The biggest mistake is sending mass emails to single women or men that catch your attention, without reviewing their personal ad profile first. “Hey you’re beautiful” or “I love you” might cut it at the local watering hole, but it won’t separate you from the internet dating site crowd.

The major benefit of internet dating is being able to pre-screen single women or men. Who’s email would you rather answer first, the one that expresses a common interest or your complete opposite? Well, I guess you can argue either way on that point. But if I like to play Chess on a regular basis and you email me about your last Skydiving adventure, I won’t reply to your email, and I really shouldn’t.

Try to ask a question about an interest in common, then, tell a little bit about your interest in the subject as well. There’s no need for overkill here. Simply plant the seed for the reply and follow up emails.

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