First Date - Who Pays?
Who picks up the tab on your first date can set the tone for the entire relationship, it was not that way before. When our parents were young and dating, the woman could always count on the man to settle the bill, an act of chivalry.
Did you know that the simple question of who picks up the tab on your first date can set the tone for the entire relationship, should a relationship indeed spring up from that first date? Of course, it was not that way before, when our parents were young and dating. Our mother could always count on the man to settle the bill for her without being prompted. In the past, such was seen as being gentlemanly, an act of chivalry.
Chivalry is not exactly dead in this present time, but women are now more assertive about taking their own fair share and paying for it. Thank women’s liberation and emerging gender sensitivity for that. A man’s sense of chivalry, however, determines whether or not he should pick up the tab on a date, and this puts us back into our first question of how whoever settles the bill sets the tone of the relationship.
You see, many relationship experts say that for a guy to be chivalrous on a first date and pick up the tab without asking for his date to give up her share of the bill is a sure sign that he is interested in her. This is especially true if he refuses to accept the lady’s offer to pay for her share, with the excuse that he would like her to treat him the next time they go out. It means he wants to make a good impression on her. If that is not a clear sign of interest on a first date, nothing is.
In this scenario, what a lady should do is to stop insisting on paying for her share, because it might offend the guy she is dating and spoil the mood. A guy who is chivalrous and generous on a first date is a guy who loves taking care of his woman. The time for a woman to assert her own place will come soon enough in the relationship.
If the guy does offer to pay the bill but accepts the woman’s offer to either pay for her share or pay for the entire bill herself, it means he is interested and he does not want to offend the lady he is with. It could also mean that he is just being polite and not really that interested, which means that the lady would have to look for other signs of whether the man is into her or not.
On the other hand, if the guy is not even making a move to pull out his wallet, or if he just did and he is asking for the woman to pay for her share, that is a sure warning flag. He is definitely not into her. But if he says that he forgot to bring his wallet, debit card or credit card, the lady could be gracious and pick up the tab. However, if he does this on a second or third date, she is better off moving on without him.
- Roel