Dating Article Women Want Sex Just As Much As Men - Men Just Don't Know How To Ask

Women — unlike the females of many other animals-- do not go into heat and mate with the closest best bet (at least the confident, emotionally secure and free of sexual baggage ones). They apply more rigid criteria for the selection of sex partners. They closely examine their choices and make conscious planned decisions.

What does this mean?

1. What it means is that the process of getting a woman who is confident, emotionally secure and free of sexual baggage to have sex with you can be lengthy, complicated, and even scary, especially to men who worry so much about rejection and those whom rejection delivers a devastating blow to their male ego and self-esteem.

2. It also means that unlike the majority of men who'll bend backwards and turn themselves inside out to have sex with a physically attractive woman (“She's dumb as a post and not even interesting. But who cares? She's gorgeous!”), physical attractiveness is not enough for this kind of woman. She may instinctively desire a physically attractive man (and approach or allow him to approach her because he is “cute”) but she will suppress that desire and only have sex with him when she feels that he has satisfied more of the things on her criteria list (e.g. intelligence, money, power status, sensitivity, etc).

3. Last but not least, it means that there are really no “fast rules” involved in this ritual; no set criteria about what a man must do and how to do it to guarantee success. This again comes back to the fact that this kind of women can THINK and the man who is more ORIGINAL in his approach (which is the true meaning of Alpha Male: Alpha being the first letter of the Greek alphabet and also the brightest or main star in a constellation) will more likely be chosen over all others.

But how do you GET her to have sex with you?

1. Do it. No, not do her. Overcome your fear of rejection and approach her. Saying this here is really redundant but if you believe that rejection will be automatic (“Look at her. I wouldn't have a chance with her”), you've already failed. Nothing turns on a confident woman like a man who thinks he's up to her level. Even if you're a little nervous, she'll be impressed by your guts and also your originality (PLEASE, if you remember anything from this article, remember “BE ORIGINAL”)

2. Don't ask. Women expect men who approach them to eventually, if not too soon, want to have sex with them. They are aware that there is a lot of pressure in our society for men to have sex with a number of different partners. Be different. At least wait until you are certain of what other things are on her criteria list and you have matched most of them. This may take a while but you do want sex, eventually, right? Then patience pays. Of course if she finds out that you are dumb, boring, egotistical or broke, it doesn't matter how long you wait, you're not getting any!

3. Draw out the woman in her. Merely pretending to “wait” is often not enough. If you just sit there ogling her, she will think of you as creepy. You must engage her in a ritual of titillating and prolonging anticipation, heightening awareness and building good feelings at a profound level that is fascinating, exciting and absorbing for her - and of course for you too.

How do you do that?

i) Open the window to your soul. Sex is not just about the genitals, sex is a soul thing, so let her have it - with the eyes. Don't just make eye contact, communicate with the eyes: adore, invite, suggest, implore, insist, caress, propose, promise etc. Women are soulful like that.

ii) Get her talking. It's the only way you'll ever know what is going on in her head. Be attentive to what she says, how she says it, how she responds to what you say etc.

iii) Get physical (not fondle her) but friendly and risk-free moves to see if sparks will fly. Touch her on the arm to make a point or point out something or guide her to a table; ask her to give you “hi-five” or pat her on shoulder. As things progress tickle, give a gentle pinch, a squeeze on the knee, a foot massage or engage her in a wrestling match - you get the picture

4. Sexually bait her. Don't wait until sexual intimacy is moments away then start acting all cross-eyed and grabby. Introduce some sexual teasing as away of saying “this is more than just a friend thingy”. This lets her know that you are a real man with real healthy sexual feelings and desires, and also shows your “expertise” of the subject — and of course RESPECT for it.

Caution here: unless you are really comfortable with your own sexuality and know what good sex means to you PERSONALLY, not what an internet article, book or magazine is telling you to like, you risk really screwing this one up. This is the thing about all things related to sex, IT'S VERY PERSONAL. There is no better feeling like approaching a person of the opposite sex knowing that you have no sexual baggage - no fear (or feelings on inadequacy) and no guilt! They instantly and instinctively sense that kind of sexual confidence!

5. If you've done the above really well, sit back and let her come to (Papa!) you. Confident women do want to take charge sometimes and get easily put off if you are all the time chasing after them with your tongue or hands.

About the Author: Christine Akiteng is an internationally renowned Sexual Confidence/Dating Coach and author of eBook: The Art Of Seducing Out Of Fullness™. Her unique approach to dating has helped hundreds create positive, constructive, honest and fulfilling relationships. Christine's websites: and The Art of Seducing Out of Fullness.

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